Member’s Profile… The Trapeze Swinger

Following on in our ‘Member’s Profiles‘ series, today’s profile is from one of our newest members Jezebel from over at “The Trapeze Swinger“.

For those of you unfamiliar with Jezebel and her blog it can be found over on Blogger by clicking here and is well worth the visit 🙂

Here is her profile and I would very much like to thank Jezebel for sharing it with us….

My name is Jezebel and I am a 20, about to turn 21, year old woman. I started out life normal enough, but at age seven I was sexually abused and that is what started my life into a downward spiral. After being abused at a young age, I had strange thoughts about dying and hurting myself and at age 12 I entered my first depressive episode. This was also the age when I first began to self-harm. I started seeing a psychiatrist almost immediately thanks to my mother who, also having depression, recognized it in myself. Unfortunately the treatment I received was not working. For another five years I shifted between higher highs and lower lows, never knowing what was wrong, wondering why I was still suffering even though I was taking the medication I was given and seeing the professionals I was supposed to.

At age 15 I was hospitalized for the first time for 9 days on an adolescent psych unit for out of control behavior and self-injury. There I was labeled with ‘borderline traits’ and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Still, something was not right. At age 17 I entered a severe manic episode and ran away from home. While away, I was sexually abused again, and when I returned home, I switched to a new psychiatrist and was finally given the correct diagnosis. Bipolar Disorder. Not too long after, I was told I also suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder. After what seemed to me like forever, I finally knew what was wrong, what was wreaking havoc all through my life. There was a reason, an explanation, a name for my madness!

I have taken many different medications, been through five hospitalizations and a two month stay at a residential treatment facility, seen dozens of therapists, and yet still I am searching for the right treatment and ways to tolerate my emotions that don’t involve hurting myself in some way. As of today I am on a great cocktail of medications, have a new and understanding psychiatrist, will soon be seeing a new therapist, and most importantly…I have hope for the future.

I blog about my day to day life living with mental illness and the trauma of sexual abuse, and my hope is that others will learn through me and my experiences and also share what it is like to live in their shoes.

Many thanks to Jezebel for sharing her profile with us. 🙂

Remember if you would like your profile featured all you have to do is to email me at mentalhealthwritersguild@gmail.com